My Story


My mom and I have always been close, always had a special relationship. On September 2 I got a call that forever changed my life. My mom had collapsed at church and was being taken via ambulance to the hospital. A few hours later I got another call, this time my best friend telling me how serious things were. Within three hours my coworkers had me on a plane (at zero cost to me!) and by 6 pm that night I was at my mom's side.

After three days in the ICU it was determined that because of how long her brain had gone without oxygen, she likely wouldn't wake up. On September 5th we made the most difficult decision to let her go peacefully. It was something she had talked about so we were sure it was what she would have wanted us to do.

My wonderful mother passed peacefully on September 6 at 6:10 am. She is already missed so much.

This blog is my journey through the grieving process. Hopefully that will keep my regular daily blog a little less depressing.

On this blog I will share some of my daily grief emails and also songs, poems and pictures that touch my heart. Hopefully this will help someone, but if nothing else, it helps me.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Dream Visit?

Its rather frustrating. I feel like I should be more "over it" then I am. I know, I know, it's a process, but it's still frustrating. Makes me want to cry and I don't like doing that because it feels like people will think I am just using mom as a way to get attention. Or like they are thinking I should be done crying by now. It's hard.

The other day one of my facebook friends posted this on my wall. It was well meaning, but it actually hurt. I have had dreams about mom since her death and it just leaves me feeling more lost then before I had it. I feel no connection to mom since I lost her. I like to think that she is watching me, I just wish I could actually feel her.
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