My Story


My mom and I have always been close, always had a special relationship. On September 2 I got a call that forever changed my life. My mom had collapsed at church and was being taken via ambulance to the hospital. A few hours later I got another call, this time my best friend telling me how serious things were. Within three hours my coworkers had me on a plane (at zero cost to me!) and by 6 pm that night I was at my mom's side.

After three days in the ICU it was determined that because of how long her brain had gone without oxygen, she likely wouldn't wake up. On September 5th we made the most difficult decision to let her go peacefully. It was something she had talked about so we were sure it was what she would have wanted us to do.

My wonderful mother passed peacefully on September 6 at 6:10 am. She is already missed so much.

This blog is my journey through the grieving process. Hopefully that will keep my regular daily blog a little less depressing.

On this blog I will share some of my daily grief emails and also songs, poems and pictures that touch my heart. Hopefully this will help someone, but if nothing else, it helps me.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Just Be Held

Often, I find myself connecting with a song, simply for a single line. In Casting Crown's song, Just Be Held is was "You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held. Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place." But, after I read the lyrics to this song, there are so many more words that jumped out. Here is the music video and lyrics.



Just Be Held
Casting Crowns

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you’re tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There’s freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held


If your eyes are on the storm
You’ll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You’ll know I always have and I always will


And not a tear is wasted
In time, you’ll understand
I’m painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you’ll find Me
And where you are, Ill hold your heart
I’ll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who wont let go

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